the mirror

i saw somebody this week that i haven't seen in a while. i try to avoid him if i can, when i hear him coming, i go the other way. i don't like this guy. not even a little bit. he is very selfish. he is very prideful, feels like everything should go his way, and watch out if his car doesn't start or his alarm doesn't wake him up or his schedule's too full or too empty or he's wrong about something or his pants are too long or too short or his shirts aren't clean or his laundry's not ready or his eggs don't cook right or his kids don't call or they call while he's busy...pretty much his outward persona is a house of cards. he is so blessed and he takes the credit as if he had something to do with it. he lets people continue in their positive misconceptions of him and does nothing to disabuse them of their erroneous notions. he is kind when it suits him and mean when it doesn't. he can say nice things and his tongue can slice with sarcasm in the same moment, even in the same sentence. you can see why i don't like him. there's only one problem: he's the man in the mirror. sometimes you believe your own press clippings. sometimes i get a sore arm patting myself on the back. 

i'm happy to do stuff for others if...everything goes right for me.

i saw myself this week and i didn't like what i saw.

and i'm definitely getting old. watching the grammys tonight, i'm feeling very old. but old is good in my book if it means that you're not excited about a lesbian celebratory song followed by unintelligible (c)rap by 4 guys with more hyphens than vowels and consonants in their names while a hugely pregnant ?singer prances gravidly around on the stage making a fool of herself. i'll take old any day.