radical thought

humility is when you're still surprised when you're right.

conspiracy?

would anybody really think this kind of thing up? did it happen accidentally? did we pig out our way into this mess and now we need help to get out? i hope it's not a conspiracy, because if it is, whoever did it is brilliant, and evil.

get people to eat more by supersizing everything, make fast food and junk food and processed food cheaper and easier to get, advertise it all out the wazoo, and watch as people get diabetes predictably, high cholesterol and obesity become the norm, and strokes and heart attacks are commonplace. and cancer, pretty much everybody's going to get it somewhere sometime, right? now most people take at least a prescription drug or two. health care costs more and more because more and more people need to see the doctor more often and need more tests for more problems caused by more drugs and nobody seems to pay attention to the last 45 seconds of the drug commercials because they're so snowed by the promise of more hair, less weight, better attitude, less depression, better sex and they don't hear the part about your penis falling off or your anus losing control.

fast forward to the near future: people are begging for help paying for or even getting health insurance and are willing to gamble on about anything to get them out of the mess that they don't even know that they got themselves in. they want fast food, fast track healthcare when they want it and they want the drugs they want and they are blind to the reality that they have sold their healthcare souls to the drug companies and the medical walmarts of the world.

when the government offers 'cash for clunkers' but they're asking for your grandmother instead of your gas guzzler, what are you going to do?

a conspiracy? sometimes i hope so, at least that would mean we were duped instead of just greedy, lazy, and stupid.

cash for clunkers, part 2

got an email forwarded to me today...'cash for codgers'. man, i thought i'd come up with this idea myself, but once again, i've either stolen it or synthesized it from many ideas floating around in the air and in my head.

if a couple wants to have a baby and wants the government healthcare system to assist them in covering the expenses, they apply for permission and have to turn in an old person in exchange for the new baby. the exchange rate is on a sliding scale, with the highest values given to the old person with the most healthcare problems, on the most medicines, smokers, alcoholics, the obese, and republicans. the old person is taken care of with a toxic injection that guarantees that they can't be resold or their body parts reused.

i really and truly had this idea and was on my way to blogging it when i got this email. i want you to believe that, for some sick reason. but i was missing the key ingredient: exchanging the old for the new - what was i (not) thinking?

this seems orwellian, i know. but so many things that seemed so 'out there' a few years ago are now occurring on a regular basis, that i'd make sure your 'value' for exchange is pretty low as you get older, or your kids might just come visit and say, 'dad, i've been thinking...'.

talk about incentive to stay healthy! gives new meaning to the statement 'i'm worth more dead than alive'.

big brother

good news, bad news. there are cameras everywhere and that's good if you're looking for a criminal like on csi or law and order or ncis. i guess that's good if you can watch your kid while at daycare and you're at work, though if you have time to watch them on the computer...never mind, i digress. good news if you're a wannabe singer/star who gets discovered on some tv show. bad news if you're watching your brother play the final at wimbledon and you're caught picking your nose. ouch. how is ou going to spin this to make it go away?

filters

our minds are like filters - stuff goes through all the time. some stuff gets stuck. like in the dryer, the lint you have to clean off. you don't keep it, you throw it away (or at least i haven't heard of anyone recycling lint...yet).let's say that something that is allowed through is gone, forgotten, not considered, out the vent. the stuff that is filtered out is to be mulled over, considered. in our world today there are so many floating pieces of information, advice, opinion, and b.s., that our brains get clogged quickly and our options are to get rid of some stuff or to get lost in all the crap that is trapped. the latter option is where so many people live, worried about seemingly (to me, at least) nonsensical stuff and obsessing about things that in the big picture are really just fluff that got stuck in the filter.

so how do we clean the filter? dump the crap? one thing we can do is pray. go to God and give it to Him and let Him deal with it. one is to just forget it. that's not easy, and those forgotten memories tend to resurface at inopportune times. some people can 'rinse off' their filters by talking about stuff with other people, like counselors, therapists, and the like. my personal opinion is that talking things over with counselors just keeps the fluff circulating and sticking back in the filter. i'm not a fan of counseling.

i'm for praying and giving it to God. then pray again that you don't go back to the pile at His feet and pick your junk up for another round.

oh, one other way to at least help with the crap we have to filter through? don't go looking for it! on the internet, with your friends, on tv (oprah produces a ton of lint every day!). sure, everyone diagnosed anymore with any illness will go home and research it on the internet. at least it seems so. but don't believe it all. do you think they put the boring stuff on there? like on tv, the medical shows, law shows, cop shows - they distill out the boring 99% and give you the gunfight in the er between two lawyers! 99% of most of the stuff i see could be listed under "it will go away pretty much no matter what, so don't worry", or "it's a phase many kids go through and is normal and will resolve without treatment, but if you hurry and get him in therapy you could make it a big deal and spend a lot of money on it". notice how everything has a name now? you don't just have crappy eyelashes (like brooke shields, yeah right she's got crappy eyelashes!) you have hypotrichosis. no longer can you be in a bad mood sometimes, you're bipolar, you're depressed if you cry, obsessed if you think too much. ok, that's it.

summer accidents

read an article in the oklahoman this week about how the writer doesn't think kids play outside enough and they're just sitting around playing video games and facebooking and twittering. well, that may be true, but i still see, and generally comment positively on, kids who have the kinds of summer accidents we used to have. like stepping on a piece of glass in the creek that's usually dried up but it had rained recently and there were some crawdads and tadpoles and we were catching them and then we started playing swordfight with some sticks we found and maybe somebody got poked in the eye but then we used the sticks like rifles and played army for a while and then got into some poison ivy but the shot doesn't hurt that much and besides i kinda like that pink stuff and we went on a hike because we had these cool walking sticks/swords/rifles and nothing else to do but have fun and imagine ourselves as adventurers like lewis and whoever and we found all kinds of cool stuff and almost caught a lizard and threw rocks at a sign and one kid got hit in the head but we don't think he will need stitches and decided not to swim in the deep part of the creek because there were some bubbles that kinda looked like pee up by the edge and that was gross and then we climbed a tree and that was cool until another kid fell out and i hope he doesn't have his cast for the whole summer but man, we had fun.

those were the days. and they're not gone. just to reassure you. kids are still kids if their parents will let them and i know you can't just let them wander around like you used to when you were a kid and there are infections and perverts and toxins in the water and west nile virus and rocky mountain spotted fever ticks and any number of other scary things out there, but kids need to play in puddles and swordfight and play army and throw rocks and not have plans all the time like soccer practice and be kids.

one of the first blogs in this long line was 'the rant' and it's this exact mood i'm getting at here. i'd love to see a few more sets of stitches and the occasional piece of glass in the foot and poison ivy and maybe a broken arm instead of chronic stomachaches and headaches and trouble sleeping and trouble concentrating and (now i'm going to offend, sorry) fights over what johnny gets to do at dad's house that he isn't allowed to do at mom's and maybe the stomachache is from worrying whether he can tell his 'primary custodial parent' how much fun he had at his 'noncustodial parent's' house over the weekend without hurting her feelings or getting his noncustodial parent in trouble with mom's lawyer. there, i feel better.

and this is a good time to rant on something else. today's paper has two articles, both about dead kids, one who drowned and one who was shaken to death. both kids were allegedly killed by men in their mothers' lives, one was actually the father, one her boyfriend. the one who was the father had already abused a kid, but hey, it was over 10 years ago 'and he's changed'. and i'm sure there were protests of 'but i love him'. oh please, ladies! i'm sure there are boyfriends out there who won't kill your kids, but be careful. and the ex-wife of the drowned kid is defending her ex, and in a move that actually made sense for once, dhs took her other kid away.

this story plays out over and over. i caution guys - if you've got a girlfriend with a child, be careful. first, don't kill them. but seriously, don't be left alone with the child and consider every potential problem with every situation when you are with that child. statistically you are the prime suspect if that kid is abused or killed or if anything happens. apparently (and here i'm going to get in trouble again) girls don't think too clearly when it comes to guys.

heat index

i know the heat index has something to do with the temperature and the humidity, sort of a reverse of the wind chill, but is there an age-adjusted heat index? i remember 100 degree days where it didn't feel like my brain was melting. and cindy thinks it's because i was driving her convertible with the top down! i'm thinking maybe temp plus humidity plus age plus amount of hair* (*or lack of it) and plug it into some formula and it comes out to...HOT.