Saturday, November 17, 2007

why every mom should spend a day with me

Every day, moms come in and it is obvious that they think they are the only moms with the concerns they have. Whether it is an illness or a behavior problem, to them it seems that their kid is the only one with the problem or illness. Many problems are not things moms admit to each other at the gym or the soccer field or at school or work with other moms - things like bedwetting or suspected depression or drug use in a teenager, or a toddler whose fits are bringing her to tears. To show weakness in our world today is considered poor form. To not have all the answers and all things under control in your world is somehow a sin.
So, if it weren't for the almighty privacy laws, which could probably be waived under the right conditions, I wish moms would spend just one day with me. Some might need more, some less. But about the 3rd checkup where the baby isn't sleeping or is sleeping with the parents or the toddler keeps getting up and coming into the parents' room or the child is always sick when he goes to his dad's house or the grandma is driving her crazy pressuring her about the potty training or the child not eating get the picture. I think it would be enlightening for them. Freeing in the way that finding out other people struggle with the same problems and thoughts that you do is freeing. This is not to say that I can solve the problems, but as I get older I realize that the acknowledgment of the existence of the problem and that it may suck, but it's shared by many others, is better than a quick fix. The visiting mom may gain insight from another mom's ideas, or have an idea about the problem that the other hasn't considered.
It's just an idea, one that may never materialize, but I think there's merit in the thought. Parent groups meeting after hours meet some of the need. But so many "regular" people don't come to those, only those who recognize or admit they have big problems, and are willing to seek help from others. I would love to have well child check counseling sessions for different age groups as a group format, to teach and answer questions and let the moms answer each other's questions. Just an idea.

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